In my community’s research survey, I asked 33 women the question: will you stay friends with your ex? Here’s the result I got:
- 5 voted YES.
- 6 voted NO.
- 22 voted IT DEPENDS ON THE SITUATION.
Those who voted yes said that because they shared a lot of thoughts in the past and learned from each other, they don’t see anything wrong with it.
Those who chose no said they just don’t care anymore. Past is past. Plus, a guy didn’t even reach out for years, so why should she?
A lot of ladies thought it all depends on the situation or the reason for the break-up. Some exes turned out to be decent that it’s possible to civil with them.
I took a look at my personal history. I only managed to be friends with my ex if nothing happens between us. I could speak with them casually, thinking about platonic things. I got one ex-boyfriend who broke up with me but still managed to stay friends with them throughout the years. It took time, but we always tease each other about who to blame for the break-up.
But if that guy and I slept on the same bed, I could only think about our history whenever I speak with them despite moving on successfully from the relationship.
When to Stay Friends with Your Ex?
If you have a child together, then it’s beneficial to stay friends with your ex. If you became friends first before having a relationship, that you had such a strong foundation, that means that you can still be friends in a healthy way.
Just remember to have boundaries. Don’t have expectations that you will get back together again. Besides, it is not necessary to talk every day or even go out.
If you broke up, it is recommended to unfollow each other for at least six months. Take your time to heal and move on before having that conversation with your ex again.
But How Can You Say That You’re Not Ready to be Friends With Your Ex Yet?
- You’re still hurt and angry, or any unresolved feelings.
- You talk about your ex and still end up crying.
- You fantasize that you will one day get back together.
- You feel lonely.
- You’re still checking your ex’s social media and getting worked up with any kind of activity he’s into.
If you’re seeing yourself in any of the above examples, it is best and healthy for you to avoid your ex for another year.
“Even after the most amicable breakup, everyone needs time to work– Susan Elliott, author of Getting Past Your Break-Up
through the split and all their feelings.”
When to Cut Ties Entirely with Your Ex?
If it’s a toxic, manipulative or abusive relationship, there’s no reason to look back. Staying friendly with this type of ex would only prevent you from growing and enjoying a new relationship. Some doors have to remain closed unfortunately.
Can’t move on? Maybe it’s time to check your Tita Standards.
How about you? What do you think? Will you stay friends with your ex or choose to bid him goodbye forever? Why and why not?